Aw Nuts

When I posted a recent blog concerning a near fatal squirrel accident involving me and a bicycle, I was surprised at the number of crazy encounters my friends admitted to having with the spastic rodents. Seems as if everyone has a stupid squirrel story. And I have another one.

I love working from my lanai this time of year. There is a huge tree right in front of me that lost an entire side during Hurricane Charley but has managed to grow so tall that I can't see the top from where I sit. It is the playground of dozens of squirrels.

I sometimes take breaks and let them entertain me with their scurrying and chirping.  Every now and then I'll see three stacked up on top of each other, a fourth wanting to join, and wonder what kind of furry freaks they really are. But then again it's their tree and who am I to be peeping.

Today, in the calm after lunch,  I saw one fall through the branches and heard it hit the ground with a heavy umfff, as if all the air had just escaped from its little body. Once again I gasped, not wanting to look. It was obvious this one did not land on its feet, like a cat; it was a definite thud.

But before I got to my feet that lil guy had already scampered right back up the tree. They may not land on their feet like cats but they certainly seem to have nine lives.

This intrigued me so much that I googled falling, not flying, squirrels. Wikipedia says most urban squirrels don't make it past one year, not because of predators, but automobiles. I'm pretty sure I've contributed to that stat.

Apparently it's more common for squirrels to miss their mark than I thought. Check out this video, I promise it's not bad if you're animal squeamish.

Suicidal Squirrel

Photo from Lin's Domain

I have several friends who've been hit by cars while riding bicycles. But have you ever been the one to hit anything while riding? I mean other than random potholes, curbs or bushes?

After several hours behind the computer today, I decided it was time to move my body. I got on my bike and breathed deeply, enjoying the sunny blue sky and low humidity. About a minute into my ride, as I'm about to exit my neighborhood, my attention is strangely diverted to a squirrel ahead. He had moved quite quickly through the grass, paused and perched himself  at the side of the road.

"Don't you do it!" flashed through my mind. But the lil' bastard DID! He ran right in front of me so fast I had no time to brake. I felt a bump, felt his furry F-ing tail on my leg. I hit a damn squirrel on my bike! Who does that? I was horrified, didn't know what to do. I mean I couldn't look back and risk seeing that lil body jerking and writhing in pain from the impact of my powerful Mongoose. And if that was the case, what would I do? I certainly didn't have the guts to finish him off; kill him and put him out of his misery.

by George Coghill

I rode a few feet with my hand over my mouth, also wondering if any neighbors had witnessed the alleged squirrel massacre. Of course curiosity got the best of me. I just had to look over my shoulder; I had to know what happened to that furry guy. To my surprise, there he was sitting in the middle of the road upright, not twitching. Was it my imagination or was he looking at me like "What the hell?" Or was it really his mother looking at me like "What the hell, MY BABY"S DYING IN THE DITCH!!" My imaginary conversation continued with the mama squirrel, this time with me saying "What the Hell! Didn't you teach that boy not to play in traffic?"

Now my beautiful bike ride is mired in reliving the harrowing experience and analyzing what the near death experience with a squirrel was meant to teach me. When presented with openings in life you either have to make a mad dash, or wait for the traffic to clear and walk more calmly into it. But that moment of indecision, pausing on the side of the road, will get you smacked at best; more likely squished flat. I think I was being told to be patient, take a breath before making any more mad dashes.

Not completely satisfied with my conclusion I looked up the meaning of squirrel energy and found the power of the rodent is a "great gift" reminding us to lighten our load of things that are unnecessary and cluttering our lives. The last quote I read about squirrels on the website Lin's Domain confirmed what I had already figured out, "Take the time to stop and listen to your inner self, and don't forget to play." I got it! Hopefully you get it too!

If I ever decide to start a band, I'm calling it "Suicidal Squirrel".